Destroying the stigma of budgeting
“I could never life like that” It’s a sentence I have heard many times, whether it be when I pull out my phone at lunch with a friend to put what I spent into my budget app or when I tell someone Sorry I can’t do that this week we already spent our allocated money for that category. Sometimes I get laughs, sometime I get stares, but mostly I get I don’t understand how you live like that.
To be totally honest though, it was the first thought that crossed my mind when my husband suggested we live debt free and go on a journey toward financial Independence. I COULD NEVER LIVE LIKE THAT!
But what the heck did that mean? What couldn’t I live like? Why did I have such a limiting belief? I think when we say this, it is out of fear or maybe just this engrained ideology that everyone will always have some sort of debt. Everyone has a car payment. Everyone has credit card bills. Everyone constantly has to buy new clothes to get ahead and look the part. “I need them for work.” How could my kids live in less than 2000 square feet? I NEED…fill in the blank.
I pictured a constant struggle back and forth between the two of us, one blaming the other for spending too much in one of our categories. I pictured us eating bland, boring food and giving up our love of gourmet cooking. I pictured me, embarrassed when I constantly told people I can’t afford that, even though I was making good money. I pictured deprivation, sacrifice and being miserable.
So what was this life of deprivation I envisioned REALLY all about? Turns out it was just living intentionally. It was purposefully stating these are the things I care about, the things that bring my life value and joy, then saying I am going to spend my money on these things and not all the other crap.
It meant that I wouldn’t have to work an overtime shift to pay for a brand new car that’s only purpose was to get me to that overtime shift. It meant I would make my coffee at home (because no way was I going to give it up altogether) instead of paying 7 dollars every morning at Starbucks. It meant I was going to make a list of what I was going to buy at the grocery store and not just grabbing stuff that we will eventually throw out. It just meant living intentionally and with a plan. For us the plan meant spending more time not at work and more time travelling with our daughter. Once I took a step back and looked at it in the most basic of ways I understood, it just clicked. Did I want to buy 6 more lotions, some body spray and 4 candles because there was a HUGE sale at Bath and Body Works? Or did I want to keep that money and put it towards our cruise in Norway? Everyone comes to their own realizations, this was mine.
Getting control of your finances is a function of the math, of course. But most importantly it is a function of your mindset.
I realized that I didn’t want to spend my money on frivolous items that brought no value to my family. I didn’t want to have to work overtime to maintain a lifestyle that I wasn’t sure why I had created. Having a large home, expensive cars, fancy purses, and designer clothing is fabulous if that is what you value, but those things truly brought no value to my life. The life my husband and I saw together in 5 years was not focused on these things. When we sat down and talked about our future we saw the three of us together, traveling the world and learning new things. We saw us teaching our daughter morals, common sense and all about nature. We saw us working because we loved our jobs and not because we were trying to keep up with a mortgage or a car payment. We saw the same thing, had the same goal, and suddenly we were on the same page.
I realized by saying, “I could never live like that”, THAT was living the life I really wanted to. That was living a fulfilled, meaningful, and intentional life. THAT was the life we are living today and I am so thankful for.
Destroy those limiting beliefs. Instead, look at what is considered normal and unfulfilling and say “I could never live like THAT!”
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I could not agree more! Making a budget and following it is so freeing.
It is amazing how we hold on to these behaviors, thinking we could never give them up because we wouldn’t be happy, when all along it is the behaviors themselves keeping us from living the life we want to live.
It seems sometimes the behaviors are holding on to us (and holding us back) as much as we are holding on to them.
“It seems sometimes the behaviors are holding on to us” I couldn’t have said it better.
I relate it a lot to healthy living. When I was pregnant I ate completley differently than I had my entire life. I mean horribly…. Trying to get back to eating the healthy foods seemed like such a task. Those foods held on to me, but what was I really gaining from them? (Besides weight?)
Those bad habits are the same as our financial ones. I felt like I needed to spend a certain amount to be happy, but it couldn’t have been further from the truth. We’re happier now than we ever have been and our budget truly does not hold us back!
This is such a good piece of writing! You are so honest about budgeting however, you make it sound like it could be fun lol. My husband and I have a plan to also travel the world some day. It’s been hard but cutting eating out, coffees, snacks, etc has been worth it. We can almost see the end of our truck payment! ? thanks for all the amazing encouragement! I pinned this post as well!!
Can I tell you how proud I am of you? Even with our limited internet on vacation I can see the incredible things you’re doing for your blog. Girl you are working your butt off and I have no doubt you will do the same with your financial goals.
Those dreams of traveling are going to be the fire that keep you going. I will say you can also use them as a reward. I know it’s not in the conventional thoughts of paying off debt, but you need something to keep you focused. I think experiences are the best reward!
Keep up that great work. Your sweet personality and that crazy work ethic you have is going to kill it in the blogging world!
Well said! I have been guilty fo saying and thinking “I could never live like that” a number of times in the past. However, the more I thought about it, and the more things I learned, I quickly realized I was wrong. I could live with less and still be happy. And yes, there are times when we splurge on things, but we no longer rush into those decisions, we think them through and decide if it is worth spending the money on. It all takes time and we definitely aren’t 100% where we want to be, but one step at a time is how we are taking it. Embracing a budget is a great life changer and while we are still working out the finer details in ours because getting it right from day one can be tricky, it’s been so good for us.
That is so well put! You still make splurges, you just think about them before you buy! That has been the biggest thing for us and not just with splurges, with something as little as Starbucks. If I look at the budget before I get in line then I’ll realize whether I really want to spend our eating out budget on an over priced coffee or if maybe I can wait and get a free cup at work. Apparently prior to budgeting I could spend $200 A month there! It’s the little things that make huge changes. Keep up the good work!
How do you get started on the budgeting ? What is your favorite app?
You are such an amazing person that I can call a friend.
Xoxoxo
HI!!!!
Took me such a long time to get back to you, I’m so sorry! Crazy summer and it’s still a whirlwind!
We got started budgeting out of necessity. We knew we couldn’t bring Soph in to the world with us drowning in debt. I wanted to be home with her more and that would have been impossible if we were constantly trying to catch up.
Hubby did all of the research. I was living in denial at the time. In my mind, if we just paid the minimums on all of our medical bills, credit cards, etc we would be ok. If you’ve never done the math on the compounding interest for things like that, you should. Jimmy brought me the numbers and I was blown away. SO MUCH WASTED MONEY!
So, we sat down, looked at our current spending and cut where we could. The next month, we cut a little more. For everything we cut, we would put towards our debt.
Very honestly, it wasn’t the most fun in the beginning. We scrimped, saved, and sold anything and everything we could. BUT…. that was temporary.
Now, we are so used to budgeting that it is a mindless process. We aren’t cheap, just intentional with everything we spend. Something that helps with that is using the “Every Dollar” App. We use the free version because we HAVE to put in every purchase and it makes you think before you spend!